#also Link in the stealth sheikah armor in botw

[onceuponaroast]

Does it say something about me that the only thing that gives me gender envy is fairy/Elf ears? Yes

Do I know what that something is? Not Yet

[protagonistprime]

Hello The Legend of Zelda Fandom. Here's a little idea i'd like to run by you and get your opinion on.

So recently i've been struck by an idea for a new Zelda game:

So here are a couple of ideas on how the game could work(sorry for any spelling mistakes):

Title: LEGO The Legend of Zelda The Video Game

1.Inspired by: The lord of the rings, The Hobbit, Lego marvel superheroes 2, dc super villains, Hyrule Warriors, Echoes of Wisdom

2.Story: Typical TLOZ story. Bad guy(idk who) kidnaps princess, Hero must save her but is too weak. So he goes to dungeons to collect items that make him strong. Hero fights avatar of evil couple of times. Then hero travels to bad gus domain to fight him. Hero fights bad guy. Bad guy is defeated. Princess is saved.(5-7 levels)

However after bad guy is defeated some strange things start to appear. Time-Space rifts appear across the land.

3.Mechanics/Abilities: -Equipment mechanic is based on the one from Lord of the rings, however there is a possibility of collecting materials. -Music abilities - there are places in levels and on map where characters with music items/skills can access them, for example: OOT link can use ocarina, WW Link can use windwaker, Malon can sing, TP Link in his wolf form can whistle, TP Hero's Shade in his wolf form can whistle, etc. Or i could change this so only a small number of characters can access them -Sheikah slate panels - characters with sheikah slate can access them, for example BOTW/TOTK Link and Zelda, Purah, etc. -"Detective mode" - characters with animal abilities can find foot prints and other similiar things(just like wolverine in Lego MSH), for example TP link in his wold form. -Masks - just like in majora's mask, some characters can use them to have different effect on enemies/npc's. -Time abilities - some characters, mainly Hero of Time, can sent objects through time to unlock other areas or on special pedestals or through songs can travel through time (just like in Lego Dimensions) to the same area but in the past or future.

-Stealth abilities - OOT Zelda(just like Peter Parker in Lego MSH) can change to Sheik, in other words she can access stealth mode. Some masks allow to do the same.

4.Map: During the first levels the map of Hyrule is semi-open, some parts are story locked. After time-space rifts appear there are sky islands from Skyward sword and Tears of the kingdom. In water part of the map there are islands from windwaker. There is a majora's moon in the sky and other famous locations from previous instalments.

5.Characters: -Link - New original design, every link from previous games -Zelda - New original design, every zelda from previous games -Main evil Bad guy of the game -Ganondorf - every version from previous games -Vati -Shadow link -Zora -Rito -Gorons -Sheikah -Sheik -Kokiri -Koroks -ETC

6.Transport: -Horse - epona, or any other horse -Ship - Windwaker, Phantom hourglass - ships from those games -Train - Spirit Tracks - only in some areas -Loftwings - Skyward Sword -Glider - Breath of the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom - It's possible to change the design in character creator, inspired by Lego Batman glider animation.

7.miscellaneous: -Red bricks are replaced by Treasure chests, sound is also replaced with classical Zelda chest opening sound -There is an option just like in Lego Star Wars The Skywalker Saga to turn on/of mumble mode, however this does not affect Link type characters, in other worlds all Hero's of courage will speak in traditional mumble voice even when option is turned off. -Studs have been replaced by ruppes, however the shape remains the same. -Collecting all on the level Minikits grants a new character(just like in Lego SW3) or creates a miniature version of a scene/land(just like in Lego LOTR). -Charcter creator is based on the ones from Lego Marvel superheroes 2 or Lego DC's super villians. -There are map easter eggs - You can find Skeleton in armor near the tree(nod to TP hero's shade and hero of time),master sword as well as Four sword, white-green-red lego studs that represent minish, etc. -The story of the game could hypothetically explain how timelines merged -etc.

These are my ideas for Lego The Legend of Zelda video game as of 21.07.2024. If you have more, let me know.

[abyssal-cryptid]

More Tears of the Kingdom thoughts (SPOILERS)

You hunt koroks again lets goo and yes there is new puzzle types

Them being in different locations implies canon version Link hunted all of them down

PAYA IS CHIEF OF KAKARIKO

The chasms are terrifyingly deep. Nope. Scary. I dont even want to know

Every single shrine has outsmarted me

WHERE IS HESTU I NEED MORE INVENTORY SPACE

The Koroks who go "I need to find my friend" require you to bring them to their friend. Reward for each is several korok seeds

Zelda keeps appearing in her Zonai fit and then disappearing. Rude. But as I said, Skyward Sword vibes.

HYRULE TOMATOES

Also Golden Apples for some reason???

Great Fairies have Moved Away

Still dont know how to get a camera please I need to return to photography simulator

Ascend is best ability

WHY IS THE STEALTH GEAR 5000 RUPEES EACH PIECE

Why is making money here so hard

I recommend visiting the shrine of resurrection. Thats all Im going to say. Its entirely overgrown

All traces of sheikah machinery is gone everywhere. I still expect to see shrines but no

I admit I am still afraid of guardians while I run around Hyrule field

I hate the transportation machines as a game mechanic

Blood moons still exist

Havent seen any of Ganondorf after the beginning cutscenes

The new map towers just straight up launch you into the sky

OH MY GOD THE MEMORIES YOU FIND

Found Hestu. Does a little dance for you WITH KOROKS. Best day of my life

You have a profile on Purah Pad for every main npc btw

REMEMBER THE DARK SKINNED WOMAN WE SAW IN TRAILERS WHO LOOKED LIKE ZELDA? SHE'S QUEEN SONIA, RAURU'S WIFE AND THE FIRST QUEEN OF HYRULE

I love her look and voice

I wonder if she and Rauru are looking for a third I am in love

I cant wait to what kind of fucked up creations the furry porn community makes with the Zonai

Also please someone write a 300k word fanfic about Rauru and Sonia, I will give you my soul

I miss Revali's gale and my armor sets so much

Tulin is adorable

There is so many new enemies and I hate them all

All my weapons are shit because I avoid fighting because I die instantly

BOTW was post apocalyptic, TOTK is during an apocalypse and you can tell

My jaw hurts. Ive played this game for like 9 hours straight now. Havent done anything much other than explore

This feels more old Zelda games than BOTW did, its a mix of them and BOTW

Gloom is scary and I need to make porridge

You can make food that makes you glow

I miss having Majora's mask

Why are Yiga still a thing

Honing in on target arrows are amazing

KANELI IS DEAD BTW and Teba is new chief. I wept

[amiharana]

25 for the revalink prompts? Bonus for not the gerudo outfit

(ask game from here)

part two of You Guys Have the Same Brainworm in my Askbox. but aw darn ya got me anon!!! truthfully, if you want me to write this in canon, i'm not sure what other armor sets would incite the same sort of fluster the prompt implies? like i have a zelda wiki open on the botw armor page and i'm going through it like Hm. Not sexy enough. KJDFHJKDHF but i still wanna write this one in canon so we're gonna take the non-horny route on the definition of 'flustered' instead LMAO

👔 25. Link dresses up just to try and get Revali flustered.

"why in the name of the goddess do you have so much clothing?" revali grumbles, crossing his arms. he's sitting in the middle of their shared roost, surrounded by piles of link's collection of armor, growing more and more as the blond continues warping them out of the sheikah slate. how much could that little contraption hold?

"well, i didn't mean to get this much," link says, tapping at the slate. he holds one of his hands out and in the next second, a pair of opal earrings materializes out of blue light in his palm. "at first, it was just out of necessity. you know zelda left me with only one set of shirt and pants when i woke up? it was way too small and that shit had probably been molding for a hundred years."

he places the earrings on the table with the other jewelry he's pulled out of the slate so far. "i mean, thankfully i found some better pants on the great plateau, but i threw that shirt away as soon as i got to hateno. there's definitely some freak in akkala who got ahold of it somehow, though..."

"and then you just kept buying more?" revali says, peering at one of the piles. why did he have so many of the same green tunic?

"in my defense, i just found some of the stuff lying around hyrule!" link replies, raising both of his hands up in surrender. "but the stealth set is really useful, and the snowquill armor is my favorite of all of my armor." he smiles fondly at revali, and the rito can't help but melt a little bit under his songbird's gaze. "and i look really good in the gerudo top and sirwal." link wiggles his eyebrows at revali, his smile growing mischievous. "wanna see?"

warmth coils under revali's cheek feathers, but he wills it away as best as he can. "maybe another time, when you haven't made an actual nest out of our home," he mutters, looking away.

as he does, one of the armor pieces catches his attention. it's designed with glowing swirls of orange and dots of blue, reminiscent of ancient sheikah technology. "what's this one?" revali says, pulling the piece towards himself. the shoulder ridges sort of remind him of the crest of medoh's head...

link follows his gaze and hums. "that one's the ancient cuirass," he says. "you're supposed to wear it with the greaves over here—" link reaches over to a piece of the other side of revali, revealing matching pants. "and also the helm, but uh... the headpiece is honestly kinda goofy, so i just wear the diamond circlet because it's prettier."

he reaches back towards the table to find the circlet and places it on the head. link then places his hands under his chin and slightly turns his face to the side. "don't i make a prettier princess than zelda like this?"

revali snorts. "sure." he turns back to the cuirass. the orange glow honestly reminds him too much of windblight; the swirling patterns are too similar and he fights down a shiver. he has to remind himself that the sheikah technology had existed prior to the influence of ganon and that it was always meant to be used for good. "what does the helm look like?"

link giggles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "well, uh, here's the one i bought from robbie..." he taps at the sheikah slate and something that looks vaguely like the head of a guardian materializes and drops in link's lap. he holds it up towards revali, grinning in a way that looks more like a grimace.

revali blinks once and then his eyes widen, staring in disbelief at the headpiece. "what... in hylia's name is that," he says taking the helm from link. at closer inspection, the glowing blue circles dotting the circumference of the helm are reminiscent of guardian eyes, or like windblight's. revali shivers this time; he decides he doesn't like the helm at all.

link laughs again nervously. "yeah, like i said, it looks goofy and i feel really silly wearing it..." he trails off, looking away before perking up again. "oh! i have other ancient helms that you might like better than this one."

"robbie made more?" revali says, looking up at link.

the blond shakes his head, tapping at the slate again. "nah, he only made that one, and these ones..." he pauses, chewing on his lip. "um... would you believe me if told you these ones fell out of the sky after i defeated the ganon blights?"

revali blinks once slowly and stares at link, searching his face for any hint of mischief. the only expression on his little jewel's face is hesitance and wariness. "and how exactly would they have done that?"

"dunno, i couldn't explain it even if i tried," link says, shrugging. he taps at the sheikah slate again and another helm materializes from blue light, dropping in the blond's lap. but this time, revali's eyes widen. "i have four of these ones and they all look like—"

"what the hell?" revali exclaims. "how— what— where did you—?!" it feels like every feather on revali's body has risen, standing straight up. he probably looks ridiculous right now, but every part of his body is flushing warm with a feeling he can't put a name to. the helm looks like exactly like medoh's head, or perhaps more accurately, a smaller version of it.

link stares at him, frozen in place holding the helm. "uh... like i said, it kinda just... fell out of the sky after i beat windblight..." chewing on his lip, he slowly holds the helm out to revali. "do you wanna...?

revali just stares at the headpiece with wide eyes for a moment. how did link even get a hold of this? it was supposed to be... slowly and warily, revali takes the helm from link and turns it over in his hands until he's looking at it head-on. it really looks just like medoh.

"you said it fell out of the sky," he murmurs, running the tip of a feathered finger over the ridges of the helm, "but why... why was it given to you... and how did it get to you if..." he trails off, finally speechless.

"if what?" link says softly, trying to prompt revali to continue.

"this is the divine helm of medoh," revali says, his voice quiet. "it's supposed to be a treasure gifted to the one who controls medoh. and as her champion, this was gifted to me back then. i lost it during the awakening of the calamity and after windblight took over..." revali resists the urge to tremble. "i don't know what happened to it. how it came to be in your hands is..."

"i don't know either," link says. "i don't know why it was given to me either. i have other helms that look like the heads of the other divine beasts, too. if that one was yours, then i guess those helms belong to the other champions. i should give them back..." the blond fidgets. "do you... want yours back? it's not like i use it that much anyway. it's just been sitting in the slate collecting dust— i mean, if it could collect dust in there, i don't know how it's stored—"

"it's fine," revali cuts him off, his voice soft. he's still staring at the helm. "just keep it with you for now. the role of the champions and the use of the divine beasts is obsolete now, with ganon sealed away. i wouldn't have a use for it either."

"are you sure?" link murmurs. revali looks back at him and his precious little jewel's eyes are wide and shining. revali doesn't know if it's possible to love a person more than what he feels for link in this moment.

"yes, i'm sure, songbird," he replies and hands the helm back. "it will probably be safer with you in the sheikah slate as well. you'll take good care of it, right?"

"of course," link responds immediately. "it's yours, of course i will." he turns back to the sheikah slate and taps at it again. in seconds, the helm dematerializes in blue light, presumably back into the slate. revali wonders then how anything is stored in there; is it an endlessly sheikah-blue space, floating forever in a void inaccessible from this world?

then, link sets the slate off to the side and crawls forward into revali's lap, wrapping his arms around revali's neck. like clockwork, the rito responds by wrapping his own arms around link's waist and holding him flush against his own body.

"i'm sorry," link blurts suddenly.

revali raises a brow. "what for?"

"that i had the helm. i should have realized that it would probably be yours."

revali snorts. "it was, in the past. i'm not sure i'm worthy enough to have it now, failing my role as a champion and no longer being required as one. you don't need to suffer any feathers over it, snowdrop."

"i guess..." link shifts in his hold so that the side of his head rests on revali's shoulder and he faces revali's neck. "but you are worthy. you're always worthy of it, 'vali, even if we don't need champions anymore. i love you, you know that, right?"

"i do," the rito responds softly. "and i love you as well, much more than you could ever fathom, songbird. thank you." he hears link hum, a content noise against his throat. they sit like that, wrapped in each other's embrace quietly for a couple moments until link speaks again.

"wanna see me in the gerudo fit now?"

"link—"

[rotinthedark]

Seb's zelda botw/totk verse (oot at the end):

Seb has half hylian, half sheikah (on his father's side). He was born and raised up until 8 years old in Hateno Village until his turbulent family dynamic made him run away to Kakariko Village. As a child with little, if any, fighting experience. That alone was impressive enough for Impa to decide to take him in. In that time, he's fully embraced his father's culture and trained very hard to become a capable Sheikah warrior.

He's close with Paya, like a sibling. He regularly trains with Cado and Dorian, becoming proficient in the Phrenic Bow and Eightfold Blade. He wears custom Sheikah armor in black instead of blue.

He serves the village by hunting and taking out small groups of monsters stealthily at night when they come too close to the mountains for comfort. Has had his fair share of encounters with the Yiga clan, to the point where he can see through their disguises.

He's actually pretty sociable! Turns out being removed from his toxic family at a young age does wonders for your mental health. The Sheikah have been much kinder to him, and so he's kind and friendly even to strangers.

He has a big black mare named Umbra he lets roam the fields just outside of the village. She's slow to trust strangers unless they prove to be good to both her and Sebastian, who raised her from a foal he found abandoned by her mother. They're very close. She has a sassy personality and begs for treats from him often.

He's open to traveling Hyrule with the right excuse, but he feels he has to stay to help defend the village until said excuse presents itself.

In my plot with @fckurselfie , he is traveling with Link and experiences both games' events with him. He learns sign language to communicate with him and does much of the talking with others for him.

He's good at tending wounds and brewing elixirs. A bit less good at cooking, but he can get by.

He refuses to return to Hateno Village. Anywhere but there, even if the Sheikah Lab there is tempting. (He was told to avoid it, as a child.)

TotK isn't too different from BotW, in that he's also traveling with Uni's Link then as well.

He's VERY good at stealth. He can disappear in shadows on a whim and walks practically silently. Unless you know what to look for, you won't see him coming when he's sneaking. He startles a lot of people this way, but he at least tries not to laugh.

His OoT summary can be found here.

[harlequinchaos]

some things that me so mad with totk because they were RIGHT THERE:

- The Sages can block... this by itself makes sense as they are trained warriors after all but... Sidon and Yunobo can block with 2-Handed weapons... WHY CAN'T I BLOCK WITH SPEARS AND GREATSWORDS?? Just make it cost durability on the weapon I don't care, you know how COOL it would be to be able to block with a spear, imagine if you could PARRY WITH A GIANT FUCKING BOULDER BREAKER THAT'D BE SO SICK.

-Similarly, Riju can block AND duel-weild. WHY CAN'T I DUAL WEILD? Make it so you can dual weild 1-Handed swords, or even make it unique to the Gerudo Scimitar type weapons, allowing you to fight 'Gerudo Style' with the fluid movements. I know Link is supposed to be a master swordsman, and he's already pretty proficient with the Spear and Greatswords, but why not go the extra mile and show how much better he's gotten in combat the last few years between botw to totk by letting him block, parry, and use 2 swords.

-Why isn't every piece of armor upgradeable? i understand that finding the phantom armor set early, or the amiibo pieces can be useful early on, but they still have the problem of being outclassed. this really shouldn't be a problem the second game in.. like I'll GLADLY hunt, fish, and kill WHATEVER i need to in order to find the parts to upgrade everything, I don't mind, I actually REALLY enjoy it. Why would you put the Evil Spirit Set in the Labyrinths but then have the Radiant Set just be available for Purchase in Kakariko KNOWING FULL WELL YOU CAN'T UPGRADE THE EVIL SPIRIT SET??? It's like this game actively punishes the reference items for no reason? like, they have the same abilities just make them upgradeable. Same with Dyeable while we're at it. There's only 15 colors make everything Dyeable, I want to make cohesive outfits out of the existing armor.

-this one is kinda personal but Yiga enemies shouldn't spawn when wearing the Stealth Set. HEAR ME OUT. The Yiga got A LOT of love this game, we get their outfit which we can upgrade and dye, we get to visit their hideouts, there's a lot of bonus dialogue for coming across 'Traveler's and 'Researcher's while wearing their set, there's their bases in The Depths. It's a great day to be a Yiga fan with all the bonus interactions you get with the Gerudo too. On the other hand the Sheikah actively got pretty much all traces of the Ancient Sheikah Tech taken away, and their part of the main story is locked out until you beat the regional phenomenon, and then you basically just move on to the Zonai 5th sage bit. The Sheikah got so shafted this game. The Stealth Set has a little bit more armor in comparison, but the Yiga Set ALSO gets the Night Speed Up bonus, plus all the bonus interactions AND no ambushes, there's no reason not to wear it over the Stealth Set imo...

[science-lings]

Fun Design Details and Random Facts about My Links

Sage (BotW): Conceptually post-botw2 so they have longer hair with a more gingery tinge and they may or may not have a prosthetic/ magic limb, when we get more info about botw2 I’ll probably figure it out lmao. Anyway they’re the magical guy bc they keep the Champions powers and was affected by dying so they can talk to ghosts and do other minor necromancy, also they’re a skilled elixir maker and food enchanter and general little witch guy. Color scheme is generally blues and teals and greens but they also wear a lot of pink and red bc in game they look pretty good in it. Has a big pretty green cloak that's heavily embroidered bc they seem like the type. What is a big cloak but a cool fantasy comfort hoodie.

Guardian (AoC): A major part of his design and backstory is that he’s half sheikah. He has patches of white hair and a section of red in one of his eyes. He generally wears the normal sheikah stealth armor or the sleeveless turtleneck body suit bc he likes to be flexible. He has a dark teal/ blue sheikah forehead tattoo, but in his original design I had the idea of putting the tattoo on his mouth. so that when he opened it the eye would open but it was too complicated so I decided against it. His color scheme is blues and purples and grays and that muted bronze of sheikah armor. This version of the champions garb is a scarf-cape ie LU Warriors. Doesn’t always wear it as it gets in the way an is kind of impractical. It looks pretty cool though. 

Captain (WW): A big part of his design change is that I wanted to give him darker skin but keep his sun bleached blonde hair, as I feel like more people of the great sea should be less white. He spends so much time in the sun that it’s a mystery how he was supposed to be so pale. He also has a lot of freckles and subtle scars. He wears some of Tetra’s princess Zelda jewelry, like the little ear wings and anything else pretty. He turned his old green cap into a little scarf/ bandana because there’s no way he would fit in the outfit now. This guy is kinda tall, at least for a Link. I liked his little swirly belt buckle so I kept that and gave him Linebeck’s coat to add to the pirate aesthetic. His color scheme is greens and blues and golds and accents in jewel tones since he wears a lot of jewels. He also wears smudgy eyeliner and dark eyeshadow. 

King (SkSw): You know that cool iridescent metal that SkSw Zelda has as the main material for her jewelry? Well King is absolutely decked in it. It’s what his loftwing shaped crown is made out of and he has jeweled rings and a necklace all made out of the stuff. He has a serious wing motif, there are wings on his clothes and new sword and that’s not to mention the crown. Hylia always had a bird thing going on so King is really playing into that. He has his loftwings feathers as a shoulder piece and his sailcloth was turned into more of a sash-cape. Looks very roman. Color scheme is reds and purples and humble warm browns. He doesn’t like looking too fancy all the time but he definitely dresses a little more extravagantly than the average Hylian. 

Hunter (TP): He’s the type to wear a lot of leather armor, a good balance of protection and flexibility, as his job is literally monster hunting he decided to invest in something like that. Has a full wolf pelt tied around his waist and I kinda want to give him a skirt like that one concept art. Maybe that’s just what he wears whenever he isn’t in full armor lmao. His hair is gradually turning black due to the prolonged use of twili magic. He has the markings on his face and thighs that mirror his wolf form but they only show up at night and they glow because i think that would be cool. He has a kind of shaggy mullet and a grumpy vibe but has a surprisingly dadly quality about him. His color scheme is mostly neutral with blacks and browns and greys but with a bit of the classic forest green and bronze chainmail. Yes he has fangs, are you surprised?

Hero (OoT): Wow this guy almost looks normal, sure he wears a little more green than the average person and tends to wear tights while on horseback, but he’s not one for armor or anything too crazy. Okay, he wears his golden gauntlets when it’s convenient but is generally not too crazy with his design. His hair is long enough to be in a low ponytail and is nice and normal. I might add some white hair despite him being in his early twenties. That all changes when he puts on the FD mask though. I’m planning on making the markings that come from that be more complex than just thick lines and making them glow bc it should be unambiguous how powerful this guy is. I mean, it’s still the same guy, he just kicks more ass. It lowers his voice and makes him astronomically strong. It’s really hard to actually hurt him and he’s taller and generally pretty terrifying. 

General (HW): I’m gonna be honest, his design is really giving me some trouble. I’m not sure exactly how to make him interesting while still staying true to the character. I could go full Camelot type medieval knight but I’m not sure that feels quite right. I could make his era more based around Elizabethan England, so I can give him funny hair and give the royal court some tutor type drama but I’m not quite sure. In any case, his life is full of hiding in the castle whenever he’s able to, to avoid stalkers, and doing his best to combat manipulative royal courtiers that he doesn’t tell the Queen about because he doesn’t want to become a problem. His color scheme is vibrant royal blues with orange accents. Bright colors are only for the fancy people and the General is nothing if not fancy. 

[forgive-me-your-highness]

Imma call you Red from now on. Also, the questions.

You most certainly have the privilege of calling me Red <3

ANYWAYS the asks lol!

🐉 - Farosh, Naydra, or Dinraal?

This is a tough question, but I think I’d choose Farosh because I’m a coward and I really need a boost of courage-

❤️ - OTP?

For BotW? Sidlink! I love the Shark Man and his Feral Boyfriend :>

🐴 - What is the name of your go-to horse?

Elliot! He was my first horse I caught and I love him very much, he did the Ganon fight with me!

📝 - Is there anything you would change about the game?

Too. Many. Koroks.

🌎 - Favourite & Least favourite region?

Akkala or Hebra

Faron or Central Hyrule


🍃 - How many Korok seeds have you collected?

302

💠 - Do you prefer to travel via the sheikah slate, by horse, or by foot?

Most times I fast travel, but I do like riding my horse!

🗡 - Favourite weapon set?

Guardian Short Sword+ or Guardian Spear

🎼 - Favourite soundtrack?

Sheikah Tower, Lord of Satori Mountain, Vah Ruta Theme, Attack on Vah Ruta & Vah Medoh, Dark Beast Ganon battle & Molduga Battle

🏆 - What was your Divine Beast order?

Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, and Vah Naboris!

🍽 - Favourite thing to cook? 


Hearty Simmered Fruit & Creamy Heart Soup

📱 - Favourite rune?

Bombs! Or the Master Cycle Zero if I include DLC’s

👕 - What armour set do you wear most often?

Desert Voe Headband, Gerudo Top, and Gerudo Sirwal

I also love the Rubber Armor on Link!

🎨 - Did you ever make use of the dye shop in Hateno Village? if yes, which garment(s) did you dye?

Light Blue: Hylian Tunic, Snowquill Set, Desert Voe Trousers, Rubber Armor & Stealth Armor

Dark Blue: Desert Voe Headband & Spaulder

⚔ - Which boss fight did you enjoy the most?

Hm I’m not sure if Molduga’s count as bosses, but I loved those!

🔶 - What was your favourite shrine quest?

The Seven Heroines

🎥 - What is your favourite memory?

Subdued Ceremony (I have it memorized)

💭 - Most memorable moment?

I went down Satori Mountain with the Master Cycle and survived.

-

I hit a rock at the very bottom, de-spawned my bike and was flung across the field.

✨ -Which armour pieces/sets have you upgraded completely?

Hylian Set, Amber Earrings, Ruby Circlet, Sapphire Circlet, Topaz Earrings, Opal Earrings, Stealth Set and Ancient Armor!

🛡️ - Shield Surfing or Paragliding?

Shield Surfing!!

🏠 - If you could live in any of the settlements, which one would it be? why?

Hateno Village, I get bored with it but I would love to live in a small village and tend to my crops and Cucco’s!

🖼️ - What do you have mounted on the walls in link’s house?

Bows: Forest Dweller’s Bow, Falcon Bow, Silver Bow

Swords: Biggoron’s Sword, Fierce Diety Sword, Goddess Sword

Shields: Daybreaker, Hylian Shield, Hero’s Shield

🔮 - Did you opt for full life hearts or full stamina?

Full Stamina! I can handle two missing hearts since I eat Heart Simmered Fruit to fix that!

[olive2004]

Tell me about your botw loadout

FINALLY some good fucking asks

almost always i’m in the full sheikah stealth armor because i love being able to pick up critters without having to crouch/not have enemies immediately notice me. also love the night speed up boost you get. i’m pretty basic tho tbh when i’m climbing something big i’ll switch to climbing gear, same with the zora greaves if i’m swimming. and then switch it right back to the stealth armor lmao. link just looks SO cunty in it i love it sm

i’m sure you know the weapons break but i love the edge of duality for sword and the ancient technology shield. don’t really have a favorite bow. basically i’m a slut for any and all of the sheikah or ancient technology related armor. thank u for ur time

[doggodysk-blog]

I seriously underrated The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

**Some minor spoilers contained in this review**

I won’t beat around the bush, BOTW isn’t just the best game I’ve played this year, it’s the best game I’ve played in a long, long time. Maybe ever. This is coming from someone who was skeptical of an open-world Zelda game, as Ocarina of Time was my favorite Zelda game before this, I really enjoyed the traditional dungeon and progression.

I don’t say “potentially the best game I’ve ever played” lightly. I went into this game critically, looking for things it didn’t do well. And, of course, there are some things it doesn’t do quite as well as others. However, overall, the game is a true masterpiece and a testament to everything Nintendo’s creative minds are capable of. I truly think that nearly everything implemented in this game is implemented nearly perfectly.

The Not So Good

This is all I can think of for negatives. While this seems like a long list, a lot of critical thinking about the game went into this, and, for the most part, these are all very minor. I cannot stress this enough, these negatives DO NOT even come close to detracting from the overall experience of the game. I am only listing these to try to be as objective and honest as I can, as I believe calling it a “perfect” game would be disingenuous.

Graphics and Art

The game can drop in FPS pretty significantly, particularly when there are a lot of particles or in large fights.

Some character models aren’t very visually appealing. Compared to the beauty of the world, character models are somewhat lackluster, particularly their faces.

Enemies

Enemy difficulty can be a little low. The first time or two, Major Tests of Strength or Hinoxes or Lynels were tricky. However, after those times, I never really struggled to fight them and win. I’m sure my thoughts on this will change once I start my Master playthrough.

There isn’t an enormous amount of enemy variations.

Puzzles

Some puzzles can be a bit finicky, especially motion control puzzles. Usually it’s not too bad and just requires a few tries, but it can be bothersome at times.

While they were fun and well designed, the Divine Beasts really didn’t take much time to get through compared to the rest of the game. I would have liked to see them take a tad bit longer.

Considering how there is no way (that I know of) to locate Korok Seed puzzles via the map/Shiekah Locator, it can be somewhat tedious to expand your inventory. Perhaps it would be better if you needed an extra seed every two upgrades instead of one, or implement a way to find the seeds.

*Further reading has shown that this problem is solved by one of the DLC’s which I have not read yet.

Weapons and Items

While the weapon durability system is a lot better than I expected it to be, and I actually think the system as a whole adds to the game, I think weapons should all have a bit more durability.

Special arrows are a bit expensive, and hard to find from chests and enemy bases. I would like to see them show up in chests a bit more often, especially considering the amount of basic swords and bows I find. This affected me more than it may affect other people, because I have been going for a stealth-archer style character.

Mechanics and Systems

Link is weirdly bad at swimming, considering how good he is at climbing. There have been times where I was feet from shore and drowned. This can be pretty frustrating.

The Shrine locator is a bit noisy.

In some areas, it rains just a tad bit too much.

Personal Complaints

This is a personal preference and not objective nor does it really detract from the game, but I don’t like the fact that there is voice acting. I prefer Zelda games to only have the unintelligible noise when you interact with someone and background music.

This is a complaint of mine personally but also a testament to the scope of the game: there’s a bit too much to do. I’m a completionist and really like to complete games I play 100%, especially if they are games I really enjoy. There is just so much. The most tedious is the astounding 700 Korok seeds. I plan on completing everything but the Korok seeds, but the fact that there are so many of them is a bit annoying to me as a completionist.

The Good

As I’ve already said, this game is astounding. One could write a book about how incredible the game design of BoTW is. It’s simultaneously intricate yet simple, easy yet with an infinite skill ceiling. This game will be studied by developers for years to come.

The World of BoTW

The world is gorgeous, and huge. Everywhere I go, I am struck by the beauty and the atmosphere. Every ridge I climb up, I come across a beautiful landscape view. I personally don’t enjoy exploring open-world games that much in general, but BOTW has completely changed that. Everywhere I explore is fun and exciting.

Continuing off of the last point in the last paragraph, the world is dense. I’m very rarely bored while roaming through the world. Whether it’s needing to go quickly so that my Fire Resistance Potion doesn’t wear off, needing to stealthily navigate a field to avoid Guardians, coming across a large Bokoblin camp, seeing old chests hidden in lakes, finding interesting NPC’s and doing missions for them, or simply coming across shrines and towers, there is always something to do.

The world is fully open, but you’re never lost. In a lot of open-world games, I find myself going in a direction where I shouldn’t be and either be turned back because I shouldn’t go that way or getting lost. In BoTW, they deter exploration into later areas by putting you up against enemies that are difficult. You could push your way through, but it will be challenging, and you are usually naturally and intuitively led on a path of enemies that of an appropriate difficulty. Before going into the game, I felt I would feel overloaded with options, but I usually am able to intuitively do what seems right to me. This fully open-world also makes the game excellent for speed running, as you are only limited by how good you are.

The Beauty in the Details

The Towns and Villages are all thought out with incredible amounts of detail. They each have distinct cultures and histories that are reflected through the architecture, lifestyle, and personalities of the NPC’s. Whether it’s a laid-back beach village or a prosperous, modern town that was mostly unaffected by the Calamity, each town and village is fun and engaging to explore.

Speaking of NPC’s, they’re very well-written. Even basic NPC’s in towns and on paths all have personality quirks that make them entertaining to talk to. BoTW has perhaps the most well-written NPC’s in any game I’ve played. Every one has a witty anecdote or hints at a treasure or shrine.

The world is full of small bits of history that paint a large picture of the history of the world of Hyrule. Each book you read or slate you find tells a story, and when you put them together, you get a fully fleshed out history of not just Hyrule, but each area and each Village.

Puzzles and Quests

The quests are abundant and fun. There are few “filler” quests that I have come across, almost all of them are either genuinely fun or very short. My favorite of these quests are Shrine quests, which offer puzzles in the forms of riddles. These are very creative and often times quite tricky to decipher.

The puzzle system is well-thought and a refreshing shift from traditional puzzles. The tutorial section does a good job of introducing the basic concepts of the Sheikah Slate’s abilities as well as showing that puzzles often have more to them than meets the eye. The player quickly learns that most puzzles have a relatively basic main path following a certain theme, and side paths which offer secret rewards for taking the themes learned from the main puzzle, and making them more complex.

Mechanics and Systems

The stealth system is, surprisingly, extremely well done. I went into the game knowing stealth was a possibility, but thinking it wouldn’t be a fully-fleshed system. Regardless of that, I knew I wanted to attempt a stealth playthrough, and wow. After honing my skills for the first few hours of the game, such as landing headshots, target selection, and use of my environment, I could easily clear most camps without being detected with some thought. As someone who loves stealth games, I really appreciate this system.

Outside of perhaps Dark Souls, the sword fighting system is the best of any game I’ve played. It does an excellent job of being interactive, rewarding good timing, giving you options, and allowing for personal skill progression. At first, I was slightly concerned that the controls weren’t very intuitive and that I would struggle to implement it in fights, however, with just minutes of practice, I was able to get a solid grasp of it. The sword combat system is an excellent example of “Easy to Learn, Hard to Master.”

The physics and weather systems make the world feel alive. I haven’t played a game that has put this much attention to science details. The biology of the animals matches their terrain. Things that you think should work, work. If you have a metal weapon out in a thunderstorm, you’ll get struck by lightning. Hot air will rise, so if you set something on fire, you are able to use that to your advantage. Rain makes things slippery, but usually not impassable (if you have enough stamina).

Additional Aspects

There are a lot of fun things to do on the side of the game, such as experimenting with cooking and potions, or filling out your Hyrule Compendium. There is always something to keep you from getting bored.

I’m a sucker for games with multiple playstyles, and the armor system in the game does that very well. For instance, I played mostly with the stealth armor, but you could also use armor that helps you climb better, swim faster, or be protected from certain elements. Another thing the armor system does very well is give you collecting options. You can buy pieces of armor from stores around the land, or you can earn them from various missions.

While the game doesn’t require exploration, it encourages it in a very natural way. If you want to upgrade your health or stamina, or want to get more inventory, or want better food and potions, or want more powerful weapons, then you’ll have to explore. None of these are required to finish the game whatsoever, but are accessible and fun to look for. I believe that the natural and flawless way that they encourage you to explore the beautiful open world they have created is the pinnacle of all of the excellent game design that BoTW exhibits, and future open-world games will look to BoTW for inspiration for how to create their own worlds.

Summary

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is the best thing the gaming community has scene in quite some time. It marks a positive shift not only for the Legend of Zelda franchise, but for open-world games as a whole. Despite its few minor flaws, this game is a masterpiece from the largest of scales down to the tiniest of details.

[thylacoleo]

BOTW Horse Taming & Customization- Updated!

There’s other horse guides out there, but I’m going to try and compile information into one big old comprehensive horse taming and customization guide for ease of access. The guide is under a readmore because it got really long.

This guide will cover:

Taming & Registering A Horse

Horse Stats & What They Mean

Customization

Special Horses

Other Horse Mechanics

I. TAMING AND REGISTERING A HORSE

First things first- you need a horse. The rest of this guide is pretty useless if you don’t have one. BOTW pretty much plops you into the open world without explaining a majority of the mechanics, so capturing your first horse without looking up how might be confusing.

There are two ways to capture a horse- Steal one from a bokoblin, or sneak up on a wild one. I highly recommend capturing your own horse, as bokoblin horses, while easier to tame, have worse stats.

STEP 1- FIND AND PICK A HORSE

So you’ve located a herd of wild horses. Pick out the one you want to target. A universal fact is that appaloosa (spotty butt/flank) and paint (patchy flank) horses are easier to tame but weaker. Solid color horses of any color are harder to tame but stronger.

Essentially

Spotty horse = easy to tame but weak

Solid horse= harder to tame but stronger

After you’ve picked out the horse you want, its time to actually get after it.

STEP 2- CATCHING A HORSE

To catch a horse you’ll need to sneak up behind her while crouching. It sounds simple enough, but stealth in BOTW is calculated by several things.

Rule 1 is to keep out of the horse’s line of sight. This also includes all the other horses with it, as they will react if one of their herd members gets spooked. Its often easier to separate the horse you want from its herd and then head after it.

Rule 2 is to check your stat boosts. Armor and food can increase your stealth. The sheikah armor is a set of stealth armor found in Karakiro Village that I highly recommend you grab, because it makes horse taming about 50 times easier. But if you can’t afford that, I would highly recommend you cook up some sneak boosting meals.

Rule 3 is to keep the weather and time in mind. Rainy weather actually makes it easier to sneak up on things. Night time does NOT make you stealthier, but skeletons have an annoying habit of popping out of the ground and scaring horses away, so I’d save your horse taming adventures for daytime.

So you’ve managed to sneak up on that horse. Here’s how you actually tame the darn thing.

1. Click A once you are close enough for the prompt to appear

2. Once on, jam the L button (at least on the Switch, I’m unsure about the WII U) to soothe the horse. Soothing takes stamina. If you haven’t upgraded your stamina, make sure to bring STAMINA POTIONS. Take them BEFORE you run out of stamina and get bucked off. Generally, the longer it takes to soothe a horse, the better its stats.

If all goes well, the horse will have pink hearts appear around it, signaling that it is tame. HOWEVER, there is still one more step to complete before the horse is truly yours- register it!

To REGISTER a horse, ride it to the nearest stable and speak with the man at the desk. You will be charged 20 rupees for a saddle and bridle, and prompted to name the horse. Horses CANNOT be renamed, so pick something you like. This is also where you’ll first be able to check the horses stats, which brings us into the next part of this guide.

II. HORSE STATS AND WHAT THEY MEAN

So you have your trusty steed saddled and named. Or about that. Maybe you’ve noticed while registering your horse is has these strange 3 qualities, with a number of stars after each.

Every horse has innate stats that cannot be altered. These stats can range from 1 star (worst) to 5 stars (best). Better horses tend to be in more dangerous places.

But what do each of these stats do?

STRENGTH determines the amount of charging damage your horse will do to an enemy. It may also determine your horses HP (yes, horses can die) but I’m unsure about this.

SPEED determines your horses movement speed. A horse with a higher movement speed dashes faster.

STAMINA determines how long your horse can dash for. This stat can be checked right after you tame your horse by spurring it into a gallop. The orange icons that pop up at the bottom of your screen indicate how many stars in stamina that horse will have.

The bottom bar will tell you your horses TEMPERAMENT. Horses can either have gentle or wild temperaments. 99% of the time, spotted horses will be gentle, while solid colored horses wild. Temperament isn’t all that important, as maxing out your bond with your horses will (mostly) negate the ill effects of a wild tempered horse.

Finally, BOND will show you how much your horse loves you. Bonding with your horse is incredibly simple. Soothe it while it is acting up, or when it does something good like jumping or dashing. If you soothe your horse lots, it will be max bonded in no time. You can also feed your horse apples to improve your bond quickly.

Hooray, your horse now loves you. But maybe you’ve gotten bored of your horses basic looks? Fear not, because BOTW has you covered on that front.

III. HORSE CUSTOMIZATION

BOTW even lets you customize your horse. How cool is that!!! Very. My inner horse girl squealed with joy when I learned of this feature, which for some reason the game completely neglects to tell you about.

First things first, only a MAX BONDED horse can be customized. Get that bonding out of the way so you can spruce up your equine pal all nice. Once you’ve got that bond, head on over to Outskirts Stable. Only certain stables will let you customize your horse, oddly enough, and Outskirts Stable is the only one I can name off the top of my mind.

Once you get to the stable, walk your horse (it has to be in the general vicinity) over to this girl.

A small conversation will always play about how she will check your horse’s bond, etc. If you’ve maxed out your bond, a customization menu will appear.

You can change 3 things about your horse- MANE, BRIDLE, and SADDLE.

You will automatically have every mane style unlocked. They are as following:

THE NORMAL MANE

THE LONG MANE

THE MOHAWK MANE

THE FRENCH-BRAIDED MANE

THE FLORAL MANE

THE BRAIDED MANE

There are also color-dyed variants of the long mane in orange, blue, green, and purple.

But you don’t start out with every saddle or bridle. These have to be bought or won by various means. There are 4 sets of saddles & bridles I know of, and I’ll detail how to get them (and show off pictures of them) below.

THE BASIC SADDLE & BRIDLE are the ones you get with every new horse. Hence, basic.

THE ROYAL SADDLE & BRIDLE

These require the completion of the quest The Royal White Stallion (which will also net you one of the 3 unique horses in the game, which I will touch on later). Luckily, The Royal White Stallion quest can be started by speaking to an old man right at Outskirts Stable. There’s more info on this quest in the special horses section later in this guide.

THE EXTRAVAGANT SADDLE & BRIDLE

These require you to head to the Highland Stable in the Faron region (far mid south) and speak to a man there about a horse jumping course. Completing the course in under 1:30 seconds nets you the bridle, and under 1:15 seconds will get you the saddle. Here is the map location of Highland Stable.

THE MONSTER SADDLE & BRIDLE

These can be purchased from Kilton at Fang & Bone for mon. To activate Kilton, head over to Skull Lake at night time and talk to him. From then on, he will appear at various places during the night time only to sell you special items and apparel. You can find him every night on the beach below Tarrey Town. Note that Kilton doesn’t accept rupees, so make sure you bring monster parts to exchange for his own special currency in order to be able to buy this set. Kilton can first be found right around here.

UPDATE- THE KNIGHTS SADDLE AND BRIDLE

You get this set by completing the mounted archery minigame, found at the Mounted Archery Camp (the same place you activate the Giant Horse quest as well). This minigame is... frustrating to say the least. You’ll need to hit 20 targets for the bridle and 23 for the saddle.

The Mounted Archery Camp is found here

These are all the tack sets that I’ve found throughout my adventures. I know there is also a set available with the rider amiibo, but I don’t own that and have no screenshots of it.

IV. SPECIAL HORSES

There are three special horses in BOTW, two of which you can get within the game and one you need an amiibo for.

EPONA

Strength- 4 stars

Speed- 4 stars

Stamina- 4 stars

Temperament- Gentle

Nameable- No

Customization- No

The first of these special horses is the one and only Epona. To get Epona you need the basic Link amiibo. If you have that, you can summon her one time only around the Riverside Stable. Once summoned, just hop on her and she will be instantly tamed and register-able. Don’t forget to register her right away or she will disappear forever.

Epona comes with a solid 4 stars in each stat, and a unique gentle personality that wont be found in a solid colored horse anywhere else. She also comes max bonded and with her own special saddle & bridle. She cannot be renamed or customized in any way (she is perfect as is).

THE ROYAL WHITE HORSE

Strength- 4 stars

Speed- 3 stars

Stamina- 5 stars

Temperament- Wild

Nameable- Yes

Customization- Yes

This horse is part of the same quest that gets you the royal saddle and bridle. Speak to the old man t Outskirt’s stable to trigger this quest. He will request you find a descendant of Zelda’s white stallion because he has always wanted to see such a majestic horse.

To find this horse, head here.

You will spot it all alone, and as the name implies it is uniquely white colored with a tan mane. This horse requires a lot of stamina to tame, so make sure to bring stamina potions if you aren’t upgraded several times. Sneak up on it like any other horse, and tame it.

(On a somewhat related note, if you head slightly north of where the stamp is, you’ll encounter a ruined park with a horse statue where one of the 12 memories are located. This memory has something to do with Zelda’s old white stallion, go figure.)

Once you have the horse tamed, ride it back to Outskirts stable and register it. Have it taken out and ride it over to the old man to complete the quest and also earn the royal saddle and bridle. You can customize this horse like any other horse, unlike Epona and the third special horse. Here’s a bad screenshot of my white horse.

THE GIANT HORSE

Strength- 5 stars

Speed- 3 stars

Stamina- 0 stars, this horse is unique in the fact that it cannot dash

Temperament- Wild

Nameable- Yes

Customization- No

The third special horse is another horse triggered by questing. Head down to the Faron region and if you stick to the main road you’ll come across a place called the Mounted Archery Camp. Speak to a man there and he will give you a quest about a giant horse.

Once you’ve activated the quest, head to this area. (Make sure you ride a good horse here, you’ll have to zip past two Lynel to get to this place)

Like the royal white horse, this horse is tamed like your average horse. It also requires a good amount of stamina so make sure to bring potions. Once tame, walk it over to the Mounted Archery Camp to complete the quest, then to the nearest stable to register it. This horse can be named, but its mane is not changeable and it has its own unique tack. It’s also very large and Ganondorf colored.

There are other special mounts in the game, but these are the only 3 register-able ones. There are skeletal horses and a special ethereal horse goat thingy called The Lord of The Mountain. You can even ride deer and bear if you’re sneaky enough, but these creatures will dash off as soon as you dismount.

PART V. OTHER HORSE MECHANICS

So that about covers most of the horse guide. But here are a few extra things that might help you utilize your horse a little better.

1. Horses can path on roads. This one is pretty well-known, but I’ll point it out anyway. if you steer your horse onto a road and then stop fiddling with the controls, your horse will follow the road on its own until it no longer can. You can also use this trick to sometimes let your horse path its way out of a stuck position, or up a rocky cliff-side. This doesn’t always work though.

2. If your horse gets stuck, hit it with something to move it forwards. Lets say your horse is like REALLY stuck. Or you really want it to go down a mountainside, but it just wont. You can fix this. Take out a weapon (I recommend a Korok Leaf- you can kill your horse if you hit it too much or too hard) and slap it in the butt. Your horse will charge forward regardless if there’s a steep cliff in front of it or not. Horses don’t seem to take fall damage, so don’t worry about that.

3. Drop apples in front of your horse to bond with it quicker. A pretty simple mechanic, just hold and drop an apple in front of your horse in order to feed it. This will boost your bond a bunch.

4. Jump off your horse to grab high up fruits. This one’s a little silly, but if there’s a tree full of apples and you cant seem to reach some of them, you can hop off your horse and launch yourself upwards to grab them. If you land on your horses back, you wind up automatically mounted once more.

5. @ the-vanilluxe-treatment  pointed out that you can feed your horse an endura carrot for three extra spurs! This resets once you board your horse or expend them, but it’s still a neat thing to know and be able to do.

That’s it for now... but I’ll probably edit this if more info becomes available. Feel free to make comments on this if you know stuff I haven’t included here!

[therealeagal]

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Not to say that Breath of the Wild is not a fun game, because it very much is, but just off the top of my head I can name seven Zelda games that take a big smelly shit on BotW in literally every way. Well, not literally since the graphics are obviously better. So then just almost literally every way.

Best Zelda game ever? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

No. Not by a long shot.

Problem number one: bring back random drops. I don’t give a shit if it’s not realistic that a Keese would be holding five arrows when I kill it.

There are two ways to get arrows in this game. 1: Find an enemy with a bow and wait for it to fire at you and dodge the arrow and hope the arrow wasn’t broken wherever it struck. 2: Shell out five gajillion rupees for at most 15 at a time. Thanks but no thanks.

And rupees! There are no more rupee drops except for the odd Yiga clan attack, which I guarantee won’t net you enough money to pay for all the arrows you’ll need. To unlock all the great fairy fountains you need, if my memory serves me correctly, over 16000 rupees!!! The only other way to get money is to occasionally find them in chests or sell monster parts for a dozen or so rupees depending on the particulars.

You can also own a home in this game, but it costs upwards of 4000 rupees to get it all decked out.

Problem number 2: Breakable weapons. Fuck. This. Mechanic. And the Master Sword isn’t even immune to it!!!! It’s reusable, but if you use it too much it will break and you have to wait for it to recharge. Even if the MS alone were unbreakable that would make the mechanic about a gajillion times more tolerable.

Problem number 3: Rain. The rain in the plains. Or more problematically, the rain in the mountains. You see, my children, when it rains in Hyrule, it becomes impossible to scale any sort of scale-able surface. Guess what Hyrule is covered in? Yes, that’s right. Mountains. And hills and oodles of climbable shit.  All of which is 100% off limits in the rain.

There’s a wait feature. You set down a bundle of wood and a piece of flint. Strike the flint with a metal weapon and voila. Instant campfire. Guess what doesn’t work in the rain? Yes, that’s right. Campfires. So you have to wait out rain the old fashioned way.

Again, sacrificing game quality for the sake of realism. IT’S A MAGICAL KINGDOM WHERE YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A PIG GHOST DEMON WITH THE HELP OF ROBOT ANIMALS WE DON’T NEED REALISM.

Problem number 4: The horses. This is more of a nitpick than a problem since there’s only one point in the story where a horse is significant, and even then its use isn’t required. So why bother putting them in?  Just give me one horse. Epona. Give me Epona and make her control perfectly without randomly deciding to turn off the path you were on or pull up short in the middle of a dead sprint because there was a patch of ground that was .001 microns higher than the ground around it.

You can register the horses you catch at any stable, so that you can board them and retrieve them later at a different stable elsewhere in the world, perhaps so that you can fast travel and still be able to ride your cool steed, which is a nice touch.

You know what isn’t a nice touch? You can only register horses you catch. You want to register that Stalhorse you caught and name Bonethony (like Anthony but with Bone in it)? Nope. You want to register that stag you’re forced to catch for that one Shrine Quest and name it Bambi? Take a hike, chump. You want to register that super badass glowing horse thing you caught at the top of Satori Mountain that has infinite sprinting and name it Awesome Glowhorse? Fuck you, you can’t.

Problem number 5: Link’s durability. This rendition of Link has the constitution of a wet paper bag. When there are enemies that can one-shot you in the first goddamn area you’ve got a problem. The ability to dodge is at an all time high, except that oops, enemies with ranged weapons can lead their shots and oops most high end enemies have AOE attacks so unless you want to spend half your time playing this game reloading from the last save because Link just got OTKed by a Guardian with pinpoint accuracy from the other side of fucking Hyrule, you’ll spend most of your time in the menus shoving food down Link’s gullet.

“But Eagal!” I hear you say. “You can fight from afar with your mighty bow!” Good point. Except for A: The previously mentioned arrow scarcity and B: Arrows do jack shit to any enemy worth using them on. They can be used to stun most enemies if you get a headshot, but alas, they’ll typically remain stunned for less time than it takes to actually run up to them and attack with your sword or whatever, especially if you’re using a two-handed weapon.

“But Eagal!” I hear you say. “You can use your mighty shield to block enemy attacks!” Except that again, no you can’t. Because AOE ignores shields and any shield not named the Hylian Shield are trash when it comes to blocking attacks from enemies worth using them on and if you do use the Hylian Shield, which is often erroneously reported as unbreakable, it  will inevitably break and at such time you can either A: go back to relying on inferior shields or B: shell out 3000 more rupees to a guy in Tarrey town.

Problem number 6: Link’s stamina. Ok, so let’s include the ability to run in this game. But let’s make that run feature utterly meaningless by trying it to Link’s incredibly small stamina meter. There’s a sex joke in there somewhere.

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The music. Mainly the remixes, as opposed to the original songs, which I believe I liked all of. Some of it I liked, some of it I wasn’t crazy about. Off the top of my head I don’t think I actually disliked any of it, just didn’t love it.

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So what did I like about the game? One of the game’s primary gimmicks is the clothes. You can equip different sets of armor which may provide different bonus effects and varying levels of protection. You can get a climber’s set that lets you climb faster or the Hylian guard set that gives you really good defense. Or my personal favorite the Barbarian set that boosts your attack power.

Or you can have Link run around in his skivvies. He wears boxer briefs, which is funny because I would have pegged Link as a boxers kind of guy. Not that I often think about the state of Link’s undergarments....

In any event, whatever you’ve got him equipped with, that’s what Link will be wearing during cutscenes. Alas, no cuckoo costume. You can get a Dark Link outfit by doing a sidequest to unlock a certain merchant. Lets you run faster a night, though come to that, so does the upgraded sheikah outfit, which has an added benefit of increasing your stealth. I bought it anyway, because why not.

There’s also a bunch of amiibo costumes but I don’t have any of those.

The other primary gimmick of the game is the Sheikah iphone slate which replaces items in this game. You can create a block of ice in the water to climb upon  or you can freeze time for objects or enemies or you can take a picture with the camera function...which actually does have a use because the map has a search function that will alert you if a certain thing (items, enemies, shrines) is nearby.

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THE MOST TRAITOROUS THING about this game. Link doesn’t get to wear green!!!!! Well, ok, he does. If you get the amiibos which give you access to the signature tunics of his predecessors in Linkage. Or if you complete all 120ish shrines so that Link can get his own set. Still.

These are my only thoughts for now.

In summary, good, not the best. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong.